Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
