it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
