you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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