There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
