Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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