ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
