You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize