If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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