wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize