I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
