Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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