Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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