After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
