it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
