Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize