come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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