Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Everything about him screamed your future.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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