I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
