You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
