Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
pray to the hookup gods
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
