Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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