It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You ruined the universe
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
