Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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