I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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