Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
no you cant smoke seaweed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Blood and glitter go together right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
