So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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