end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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