In the future we'll all be gay
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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