my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
