hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
