And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize