I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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