I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
