i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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