HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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