our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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