Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
