yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
