Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
