I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
