i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can you bring me the toilet please
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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