My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
