first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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