pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
