So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
