Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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