I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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