You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
