found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
