recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
