lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
