She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
