Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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