My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
