I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
